I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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