Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
