She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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