Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
