And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
