he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
