the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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