you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
