Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize