Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
