found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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