My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize