dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
