you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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