I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
