when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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