My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the condom got lost in my hair
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
40s are totally the cure
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
