Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
