Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
