I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
