Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
