Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
