is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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