What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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