Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
