she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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