You work out of a Hotel?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
