So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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