hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
