It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
