She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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