Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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