therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
