Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
