he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
