you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He passed out mid-signature
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
