Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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