There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
