She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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