she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
