we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
