it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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