So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
