Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
