There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
