Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
