So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
