I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize