We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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