Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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