I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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