There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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