New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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