I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize