What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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