his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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