I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
