No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The uberlube is also flammable
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
