Ambien. No doubt about it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
