He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
