I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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