the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
