I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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