Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
