Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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