Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
