I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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