You're my little dorito
Small penises have feelings too.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
