And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
