I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize