everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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