Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sober January is a disaster.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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